Although we all like to think that we can meet women anywhere and in any situation, the reality is that when meeting women we should be conscious of how the situation we meet the woman in can affect the way she thinks and feels about us. The last thing we want is to come off creepy simply because we didn’t quite think through what we’re doing.
Let’s take for example a situation where you’re trying to meet women at the mall. I taught a student today who had found a particular “hot spot” for meeting women. Sharing in his excitement, I asked him to show me what he was doing. His “method” was to hangout in the mall in a department store at the top of an escalator that delivers women to the women’s clothing department. He would simply hangout on a chair at the top of the escalator and approach women as they got off of the escalator.
On the surface, this type of method seems pretty good. There are large numbers of women literally being delivered conveyor-belt-style right to him. But let’s examine this from a female’s point of view. She’s on a nice shopping trip about to checkout blouses, when all of a sudden BAM! She’s getting hit on by a random dude who’s just hanging out at the top of the escalator.
So what’s the first thing in her mind when this type of thing happens? Besides the spontaneity of the conversation, she’ll quickly be asking herself (and probably you) what exactly you’re doing just chilling at the top of the escalator in the women’s section. Are you waiting for someone? Are you shopping for women’s clothing? Whatever your reason might be, I argue that it had better be a plausible one or the girl is likely to reason that you’re just simply creepy. In other words:
If you don’t have at least a somewhat obvious or plausible reason to be where you are or meet a girl in the way you are planning on meeting her, then you’ll most often be categorized as creepy.
I suggested to my student today that he’d have a better shot with women in the same department if he was actively browsing through clothing. This way if he was even 4 or 5 racks away from her he could get her attention by a simple “Pssst!” and a wave of her hand to come over to him. Then when she comes over he could have a story like “Hey, can you help me for a second here… I feel like an idiot. Last night a guy bumped into me at a restaurant bar and I spilled wine on my sister’s blouse, so instead of just buying a gift certificate or something I had the bright idea of trying to buy her something nice myself to kinda make up for it. Then I got here and realized it was a terrible idea to try and buy clothing for my sister, so now I just feel dumb…”
Is this the best story? No. Do I recommend this as the best way ever to meet women? No. In fact, please don’t immediately go out and learn this story verbatim because “Jake recommended it on his blog.” I don’t. But at least it answers the question of what exactly i’m doing hanging out looking at women’s clothing, and it gives the girl a glimpse into my mind and shows that i’m a thoughtful guy who comes from a good family and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Not a bad start.
So if you’re considering new ways to meet women, make sure what you’re doing is a plausible normal thing that people do or that you have a decent explanation for why you are where you are. If you’re in a bookstore and you’re looking at books in the Bonsai Tree section and she picks up one too, there really isn’t a need for explanation. You’re a Bonsai lover and so is she. Get it? But if you’re in the busty ladies section at Victoria’s secret walking around with a boner, make sure you have a good reason why.
Happy New Year guys! More to come…