Whoever texts less and writes less in their texts is dominant.

This is an important concept to understand. When I’m looking at a texting chain that one of my students shows me on his phone, I can scroll down in about 5 seconds and know whether or not he’s doing a good job simply by looking at the length of his text messages compared to hers. If his are longer and more frequent, then he hasn’t won her over yet. If hers are longer and more frequent, then she’s attracted. It’s as simple as that. This is a very powerful tool to use when troubleshooting texting chains, because at a glance you can understand who has more value among the two people texting.

How knowing this rule helps you win a dominance struggle

So how is knowing this principle an advantage of texting over a face-to-face dominance struggle? Well when you say a challenging thing to a woman face-to-face, she will often offer a very wordy explanation in a very quick manner as a means to “beat” you. In texting, this same scenario creates a double-bind for the girl because of the texting length and investment rule. If she explains herself in a long text to try to beat you, you can easily respond with something like “nope” and you’ve won.

You are king for standing up to her and she looks like she’s trying really hard because of how long her text was.

If the woman doesn’t explain herself, then you win that way too because she has backed down.

Here’s the cool part. In my experience, although some women will take one of the two actions above, many women avoid both of these options because of the effort involved, and decide instead to just give in instead.

Text Length Progression

When a woman meets a man, she’s in the dominant position and he needs to prove his worth before she’ll start engaging in more conversation with him. This means in the beginning, the man is doing most of the talking and “work” and the female isn’t talking much.

Ideally, after the man proves himself they’ll start talking about the same amount for awhile, then as the woman feels the need to prove herself to the man, she will feel the need to talk more.
This is the same progression I like to see in a texting chain. At first the man’s texts will be more frequent and have longer length, then once he has proven himself, both his and her texts should be of equal length, then eventually he should be texting less than her. When I see a text length and frequency pattern like this, I am convinced that the man has effectively attracted the woman and set up a pattern of her “chasing” or “working” consistently for him. He is definitely in the dominant position.

Who sends the last text? You or her?

I have a rule to determine when I send the last text and when I don’t, and that rule is that if I can respond to a woman’s text with a one word answer, I usually side towards not responding at all. This only applies when our conversation is obviously nearing the end.