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Neutral Reserved

What to expect when you start a conversation with someone is that they’re going to need a few seconds to a minute or more to get a handle on you and kind of take you in.  They’re going to listen to you long enough to make a judgement about who you are and why you’re talking to them, and then they’re going to take action by either participating in the conversation, going away, or the worst one… asking you to go way.

It’s important to understand what happens to a woman when a man who she doesn’t know starts talking to her.  What she will do is very predictable and specific, so I’d like to tell you about it right now so you’re not misled or surprised when it happens.

Read this carefully because it’s very important! 

When you start a conversation with a woman, she will watch you and “take you in” until she can make a judgement about you.  She’s going to look at your face and your clothing and possibly your entire body at some point.  She’s going to listen to your voice tone and inflection and she’s going to interpret the way you touch her (if you do).

You want her to do all of this.

While she assesses you and your personality, clothing, etc. she’s going to do it while maintaining a neutral and reserved energy.  In other words, she’s going to look like she’s just watching and not doing much, and all the while she’ll be figuring out what she wants to say or do to you.

This is normal.  It does not mean that she doesn’t like you.

It’s your job in the conversation to lead with your best foot forward!  This means showing off your personality even if 5 seconds earlier some girl stomped on your proverbial dick by telling you to fuck off or something.  Remember, it’s important to give each woman you meet an honest shot with an un-jaded you, even if you’ve been hurt in the past.  Your attitude is a very important part about this process!  So please do your best to be genuinely kind and charismatic.  And yes, you can be a kind of a little bit of an asshole too, within reason (I’ll show you how in the Attraction tutorial).

So…  she’ll be neutral and reserved until she makes her judgement, and until that happens it’s your job to just continue talking and talking.  In fact, in the beginning you’re going to do 100% of the talking, or very close to it.  At some point in time she’s going to stop you and chime in to the conversation or you’re going to try and elicit a response from her to get her talking, and at that point she should start participating in the conversation to whatever degree she’s comfortable.

Once a woman has deemed you attractive, she’s often going to want to talk about herself and show off a bit for you!  Saying this another way, once she’s attracted to you, THEN she’s going to try to get you attracted to her.  You might be attracted to her already simply because of the way she looks, but women know that to keep a man they need to not only be hot to him but also create a connection, and this begins with her telling you about herself.  So if you’re talking and then you find the woman talking a lot all of a sudden, you should recognize this as her starting to try to prove herself to you.  This means she likes you!

This is what to expect when you start talking to a girl, and obviously there are going to be about 10 million questions about this, so if you do have a question then feel free to ask me your question on the forum or during the live Office Hours Video calls with me.  I’ll be more than happy to answer any question you have, and remember, if you have the question it’s very likely that others do as well!  So never be afraid to ask a question, however dumb or embarrassing it may seem to you.  Trust me, I’ve asked about a million dumb questions myself, and that’s the way we all learn.

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