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Functional openers are a great way to start out talking to people when you’re really unsure of yourself and perhaps you’ve got some lingering anxiety you would like to kill.  A functional opener is when you talk to someone you don’t know because you need a common piece of information from them or you need a simple task done.  “Hey, could you pass me that drink there?” or “Do you know what time it is?”  are common examples.

The problem with functional openers is that they often are so short and convey such little intent that followup conversation can be dull and short, even nonexistent.  The onus is on you to continue the conversation when you open functionally, so if you’re a guy who has trouble coming up with followup material it’s highly likely that you’re just going to stop talking and things will end.

Want a pro move you can do to both open functionally and to practice teasing at the same time?

Use a functional opener to ask a girl to do a favor of you that she’ll later realize is complete bullshit.  For instance, I might ask a girl for a napkin from the bar when it’s out of reach for me, and then when she grabs it I might (with a completely straight face) ask for another one.  If she gets me another napkin I’ll say thanks and then do the same thing again and ask for another napkin, although this time I’ll do it with a slight smirk on my face, almost like i’m trying to hold back laughing.  When this happens the girl is going to realize I’m just messing with her by having her do shit over and over for me, and at that point she’s probably going to laugh and call me an asshole and punch me on the arm or something.  This is a FANTASTIC result, and something I learned from years of being a bartender.

So if you’re starting out using functional openers, first it’s fine just to ask for the time or have someone hand you something, and later on I want you to start trying out the teasing form of the functional opener by having girls complete tasks for you that seem like normal things people do for one another but are actually you messing with her.  This could be the napkin thing, it could be by saying “can you hold this for me quick” and handing her an empty glass to see how long she’ll hold it, or something along those lines.  These are great ways to tease women and create fun and interesting first impressions.

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