Working all the time and having lots of extra money won’t get you the women you desire, personal development and learning dating skills will. Yes, money can be a great resource that can help you in your pursuit of women, that’s undeniable. However, many men who have tons of money still seek me out because they have learned that trying to directly translate money into a healthy relationship with a woman who loves and cares for them is a very difficult, if not impossible task.
You see, men who have lots of money and an undeveloped persona or personal identity often resort to “leading with their money.” Instead of attracting women through charisma, having a compelling personality, and being a dominant man, they instead attempt to demonstrate to women all of the things they could give the woman because of all the money they have. To a man the logic of “I can provide all these things and I am successful and this is why you should sleep with me” can make sense, but to a woman it makes absolutely no sense at all. **In fact, while i’m writing this I have a girl next to me who just read it and is laughing out loud at that sentence because it’s so true and because that logic is so absurd and so undeniably common.**
Women who are offered monetary benefit from men go through a predictable course of action when it comes to receiving those monetary benefits in exchange for what the man hopes will end in a sexual relationship. To make a very long story short, the women knows that the man doesn’t offer her the emotional fulfillment and leadership she requires, yet she really doesn’t have a lot of ability to turn down helicopter rides and yacht trips and expensive wine either.
So she takes the free drinks, the free dinners, the weekend getaways, and the other free things the man offers. When she takes them though, she takes them knowing that she’s not attracted to the guy and this makes her feel guilty. She feels guilty for not being attracted to the guy because she knows he is offering these things with an intention of having sex with her.
Could this man be a good man who could offer a lot to the woman? Sure! Could he have a great personality? Sure! Could he be a truly great man? Absolutely not. The reason is because truly GREAT men do not need to lead with money. Either their identity precedes them (like famous people, Elon Musk, etc) or their persona, character, and charisma are what attracts the woman. Men who try and use money to attract women are only doing so because they lack these personality characteristics, and women intuitively know this. So instead of exploring the man’s personality, women instead stereotype “money men” as men who can’t meet their emotional needs. Money men get no real chance at healthy relationships with women the second they try to use their money to attract the women they seek.
So how does the story end between the money man and the attractive woman?
Well, the woman takes and takes from the man and staves off his advances as long as possible. Her guilt grows as her acceptance of his gifts escalates. Finally, when she has taken so much from the man that her guilt overcomes her, she’s faced with a decision to either begrudgingly let the man have sex with her or to cut her ties with him and not see him anymore. If she’s a greedy woman or a woman without a lot of options for money, she’ll have sex with him, and if she’s not then she’ll simply cut her ties with him. Either way, the man loses and never has a true shot at a healthy loving relationship with the woman.
Now you might be saying “Wait though Jake! You said she had sex with him, so why is that bad?”
I’m glad you asked.
When a woman finally has sex with a man out of guilt, this is not an enjoyable experience for her. It’s a disconnected, unemotional version of sex… an experience she can’t wait to be over with. The only redemption lies in the fact that after sex occurs, she knows that the man’s needs have been temporarily met, so this relieves some of her guilt for accepting so many things from him for so long.
After sex, the man and the woman now have somewhat made an arrangement of sorts. She withholds sex from him until she feels guilty enough to fuck him, and he continues paying for shit with very little sex as a reward. This “arrangement” he has unknowingly created with the woman continues until he tires of it or tires of her. Neither person is ever really happy.
Wow. Long story I know. It’s an important one though if you’re a guy like this or you know someone who is.
The moral of the story, and the moral of this topic of “Do You Work Too Much” is that money does not equal success with women. The above is an extreme example, but still a not-so-uncommon one.
A more common thing to happen is that your job pays you tons of money but limits the time you have to spend on personal development and other things you value in life. When this happens (regardless of what scale it happens on) then you have a big problem, and the only solution to this problem is to work less and to spend more time on your personal development and the other things you value in life. These things create balance, health, and happiness, and they are more important than having an excess of money.
If you’re a guy who could be working too much and you’re interested in achieving some more personal development and a better balance in life, your first step should be to go through the third Action Plan in The Girlfriend Fastlane, #LifestyleDesign. In #LifestyleDesign we discover what your personal values are, which ones are most important to you, and how to reprioritize your life so that you can attain balance and spend time on the things that you know will make you happy. For some of you, working less could be a life-changing solution.