After you’ve greeted your date and started conversation, it should be a natural progression to continue conversation while you start your activity. If you have a problem generating conversation then it’s going to be important for you to choose an activity that facilitates conversation while you’re doing it. For instance, if you’ve chosen to play pool on your date or maybe go bowling, both of these activities will keep the two of you talking throughout the game. Maybe she makes a great shot or a bad one and you can both comment on that. You can also start to develop a little bit of a competition between you. I like to even sometimes make a bet with the girl on the game so that whoever loses has to buy a drink or something small for the other person.
In other words, going to the movies on your first date would be a mistake in my eyes because a movie isn’t an activity that facilitates continuous conversation while you’re watching it. Instead, you would both go to the movie, not talk during it, then you might talk after, and in my mind this isn’t a great idea for your first date because a movie doesn’t allow you to get to know each other through conversation.
Remember when you’re doing your activity that it’s important to manage three things:
- Attraction Level
- Kino progression
Let’s talk about these quickly for clarity.
Conversation is important to manage because you want your date to feel comfortable, and when you don’t talk it can get awkward. Now this doesn’t mean you have to be talking each and every second, but it does mean that if you find yourself not talking to your date pausing a lot that you should try and keep the conversation going, and to do this you can hopefully have a “nice shot” opportunity, talk about people around you, etc.
It’s also important throughout your date to manage the girl’s attraction level. By this I mean that you need to observe her and try to gauge how she’s feeling about you and if she’s attracted or not. It’s possible that your date will come to the date in a neutral and reserved state. If you notice this then it’s time to do some attraction work. You can do flirting frames, attractors, role plays, etc. to re-establish attraction, and after that you should be able to “pepper in” some attraction stuff or callback humor from time to time to keep things fresh and to keep attraction maintained.
Finally, when you’re on your date and doing your activity, this is the time to escalate kino from where it started on your date with the initial greeting hug and non-invasive touching to a more personal type of touching and closeness that can result in a kiss or makeout. To establish and escalate touch, a great rule of thumb is that I’ll do 3 instances of non-invasive touch (like the gun), followed by 3 instances of more invasive or personal touch. These could be things like putting your arm around her and gently pulling her into you, putting your arm around her waist, holding her hands while facing her as she comes back from maybe the pool table, etc.
The idea with kino progression is that you move from not having closeness with her to having and getting more close with her. In other words, if you’ve touched her 6-10 times and then you put your arm around her and pull her in a bit, if she kind of cuddles into you it’ll be easy for you to turn your head to the side and go in for a kiss with her.