You can send a girl an initiation text anytime between right after your interaction happens to about 3 days later. For example, let’s say you got a woman’s number on a Saturday night. After sending her the verification text, you can text her later that same night, or on Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday.
Well, there are two main factors to consider in deciding when to text a woman after meeting her the first time. They are how eager you could appear and whether or not you believe that that eagerness would hurt your chances of getting a date. Let me explain these in a bit more detail.
1. How eager you could appear
The amount of time you wait to text a woman after your first interaction is inversely related to the level of eagerness you might display by texting her at that time. In other words, if you text a woman very soon after meeting her there is a higher chance that you could appear eager, and if you wait a very long time to text a woman after meeting her, there is almost no chance you will appear eager.
“But wait Jake, you just told us above that we should send her a verification text immediately?” Yes I did. This rule applies to texting the girl for the first time after your first interaction with her.
For example, let’s say you meet a girl during the daytime, get her number, and then you walk home and text her after only being apart for an hour. This could appear very eager to her. If you met that same girl and didn’t text her for a week, obviously there’s only a very small chance you would appear eager.
Many men read the above theory and instantly ascertain that appearing eager is a bad thing to a women, when it is certainly not. While showing too much eagerness is definitely bad, in reality, showing a certain amount of eagerness is necessary in dating. The so-called “sweet spot” is when a woman doesn’t know whether or not you’re eager to see her, so she’s forced to think about you and wonder. This often will cause her attraction towards you to grow.
2. Whether or not you believe that eagerness would hurt your chances of getting a date.
This is pretty easy to determine. If you’re a beginner I would err on the side of texting her later. The more advanced you are, the higher the likelihood that you can text sooner without having it affect the outcome of whether or not you get a date.
Now because the timing of when to text is such a talked-about and important concept, I want to explain it in another way to add clarity.
This time I want to write out each day of texting and explain what your reasoning might be to text on that day.
Texting her the same day you meet her – Wow! You’re a fast mover. If you’re texting her on the same day or the same night you meet her, it’s usually because you have the intention to have a sexual interaction with her on that very same day. Make no mistake, this move is reserved for men with an intermediate or advanced level of skill, because it’s very easy to lose an otherwise willing woman to over-eagerness and ill- timing. The exception would be if you are willing to risk losing the woman forever for the shot at tonight working out perfectly. Remember also that even if tonight goes well, you may still have to deal with concerns after, like the woman possibly feeling guilty for what she’s done or her feeling like you’ve slept together too soon.
Texting her the day after you meet her (Day 1) – Texting a woman the day after you meet her is something she likely won’t expect, and because of this it can be interpreted as either an eager action or a very confident action. For that reason I generally recommend texting on Day 1 for someone who is more experienced with women.
The downside of looking eager is that if the woman noticed a sign or signs that you might be eager or needy when you first met, then the timing of your text could serve as enough complimentary evidence for her to reason that you really are a needy guy. This can cause her to get cold feet and not want to say yes to a date. However, if the woman responds to your text and you begin texting each other a lot right away, this level of compliance shows that she has interpreted your early text as a confident communication, accelerating the course of the relationship dramatically. Text on Day 1 if you’re both obviously into each other when you meet and texting her the next day will make you appear bold and confident.
Texting her on the second day after you meet her (Day 2) – This is what’s commonly known as “waiting a day” to text her. This is the standard day to text for a reason, and it’s because you can’t really go wrong doing it. You’re not texting her right away, and you’re not making her wait too long either. Text on Day 2 when you just don’t want to worry about texting on the wrong day.
Texting her on the third day after you meet her (Day 3) – For years until I gained the confidence to make my texting strategy completely variable, I always chose Day 3 to text women because I wanted to engineer her experience so that my text would show up right when she was starting to question if I was even going to text her at all. I reasoned that most women expected to get a text on Day 2, so when they received a text on Day 3, it would arrive right at the height of the tension she might be experiencing.
One of the things I had going for me during this time period was that I knew that my initial interaction with women was strong enough that they would still remember it clearly three days later, and that they would probably forgive me texting on this day if it was a small mistake. If your initial interaction isn’t very strong or the girl was wishy-washy about giving you her number, texting on this day is a definite mistake because the girl will start losing interest in you and could also begin to think you’re playing games with her on this day. Text on Day 3 if you know she’ll remember you and you want to make her sweat a bit.
Texting her on the fourth or later after you meet her (Day 4+) – Texting 4 days after you meet a girl or later is a beginner mistake in my opinion because it makes the girl feel uneasy and somewhat disconnected with you. She might even think you’re being rude or that you’re inexperienced. When a woman feels this way and gets asked on a date, she’ll most likely say no, and even if she doesn’t say no, the feeling she’s experiencing could still cause her to later cancel the date or flake out completely (decide not to go and not to respond to communication attempts).
Texting a woman on Day 4 or later is a common mistake made by men who work 9am-5pm jobs. They think that when they meet girl on a Saturday night that they can text her Wednesday to ask her out for Friday night and everything will be cool. However, they don’t realize that at the very least the woman has lost any excitement for him that she had, and at the very best she believes that the man is inexperienced in understanding a woman’s feelings. None of this is good for his cause.
The reality is that each and every guy has a certain “margin for error” with a woman before she decides she doesn’t want to see him anymore. I believe that when a man waits till Day 4 or later to text a woman that he uses up part or all of that margin. Text a girl this late at your own risk. I certainly do not recommend it.