We talked in the “Withholding Validation” topic about what can happen when a girl asks you “How do I look tonight” and how that specific scenario is a great opportunity to get a girl more attracted to you by withholding validation from her.  Right now I want to introduce a different option for handling that same question from a girl, and this time I want to show you how to handle her question by being socially challenging to her.

The concept here, again, is social dominance.  Since girls are constantly challenging us socially, we need to beat them at their own game, and one way to do this is to be socially challenging to them when we can.  So when a girl asks me how she looks tonight and I want to be socially challenging to her, I’ll “frame” the scenario like she’s using the question because she wants me to compliment her.  In other words, I want to make it look like she’s just saying her question to me because she’s inducing me to compliment her because she’s needy of me.

Got it?

So she asks me “How do I look tonight” and to be socially challenging to her I might say something like “Oh god.”  Then she’ll be like “What?!?” and I’ll say “You’re fishing so hard right now.”

What I’ve done here is make the girl work and think.  First, she has to figure out why I think her question is detestable, so that’s why she’s innocently going to be like “What?!?” and then after that when I say she’s fishing so hard she has to figure out what I mean by fishing.  When she reads between the lines, she’ll figure out that I’m sub communicating that she’s fishing for compliments.  Once she figures that out and reacts to me, I’ll challenge her further by saying something like “So what, you can’t like wait for me to give you an actual compliment, you have to ask me to give you one?”

This is a tough scenario for the girl because now she has to defend her position and say something like “No I wasn’t doing that” or something along those lines.  She also has to explain herself to some degree.

Anytime you explain yourself to someone, you are in a submissive position.  

So by being socially challenging to a girl, she’s forced into a submissive position, and since you’ve just become dominant, the girl is going to get attracted to you.  In fact, now that you’ve labeled her behavior (another social dominance technique), you can use this labeling as a further platform for flirting in the future.  In other words, later on when she asks a similar question you can respond with “Here comes more fishing, ugh… Geez, maybe you should go buy a boat for all this fishing you’re doing.”

That’s how being socially challenging works, and it’s important to understand that this is one example, and a very simple one at that.  There are infinitely many ways to be socially challenging, and instead of explaining them here to you, I think it’s just important to understand that if you feel challenged, it’s important to find a way to challenge the girl back.  More on this later in the advanced months and in dominance struggle theory.