We all know that women “want” (or think that they want) long-term relationships, marriage, etc. We see this idea repeated in mainstream media over and over, and women will even tell you to your face that they want long term relationships. So then why is there a HUGE divorce rate in the US? What’s the huge problem causing this???
The problem is that women’s natural actions don’t support long-term relationships.
That’s right, I said it. The actions of women are what cause divorce, not men. In fact, I’m quite sure that most men are perfectly chill and happy in a long term relationship, and the majority of us certainly aren’t taking actions to kill our relationships. The majority of us just aren’t wired that way.
But back to women. Why are they killing relationships they get themselves into?
Because it’s in their nature.
You see, women are constantly unknowingly taking actions (however small) to gain dominance in their relationships, and it’s because there is a strong biological mechanism at play. You see, if a woman can mate with a dominant man and then somehow turn him into a beta-male, then she gets to go out and mate with another dominant male, and if she has another baby then her genes now have a better chance of success than they might have if she only mated with one man. Pretty simple, right? Well, this kind of thing happens in a lot in nature.
So here’s how this plays out in real life:
Man and woman meet. They have sex and get into a relationship. Dominance amongst them is established or not established at whatever level happens naturally between them. From that point on, the woman continues her screening process of trying to gain dominance over the man. As she attains dominance bit-by-bit over time, she loses attraction towards the man at that same rate.
Women are attracted to dominant men.
If you’re a dominant man, women will be attracted to you. Once you “have” a woman, as your level of dominance wanes, so does her level of attraction to you.
This is where it gets bad for a man.
When a woman gains dominance and loses attraction to the man she’s with, the amount of fights, drama, bullshit, and unhappiness skyrocket until the relationship is over. As the woman is losing attraction to the man, she’ll blame it on HIM. From that point her mission becomes getting out of the relationship in a way that benefits her the most. After all, it’s his fault. Remember?
So who is to blame?
Well, nobody is to blame really. Women aren’t knowingly engaging in this process, they’re simply continuing their screening process during the relationship. The man’s not to blame either because he has no idea how to deal with all the woman’s tests over and over. In my experience, most men simply want to avoid conflict so they can have a peaceful, happy day. So if the woman is upset or mad, they seek to quell the matter at hand, and in doing so they often give up small pieces of the dominance they once had…
It’s like men are constantly trading their dominance in the relationship for peace that they never get.
Why does it work out this way? It works out this way because women are wired to screen constantly for dominance in men (like I mentioned earlier). It’s how they obtain the best suitor for them. And once they’ve “chosen” a man, they need constant reassurance that they’ve chosen correctly. The way they do that is through small dominance “challenges” throughout the relationship… and yes, this continues even through the course of a marriage.
So everyone loses. The women loses a man who could have been (and probably is) a good man. The man loses his relationship (and half his shit), and any kids are completely fucked over from having a chance at a decent loving upbringing independent from our government’s family court system (also quite fucked).
Ouch… like big fucking ouch.
Oh! And by the way this doesn’t just go for straight couples. These roles are often played out among homosexual couples and transsexual couples as well…
So what’s the solution to all of this, you ask?
The solution is education and practice. As men, we should educate ourselves on how this happens so that we can practice handling these individual bouts (or dominance struggles as I call them) as they happen in the moment. To me, this is the only solution to the problem.
What’s this process called? It’s called Maintenance Dominance. In other words, you should establish dominance early on in your relationship, then when small dominance struggles come up, you should use them as opportunities to maintain your dominance (and therefore her attraction to you) in the relationship.
It’s that simple.
We recognize that these situations are going to happen, and we simply handle them one by one, and in doing so the woman stays attracted to us because she’s reminded of our dominance.
That’s all she really wants anyways…
Ever feel like this has happened to you? A woman loses her attraction towards you and then blames you for it and leaves immediately and in dramatic fashion, taking whatever she can from you in the process???
Well you’re not alone, and the bad news is that you’re doomed to repeat this agony throughout your whole life unless you learn to handle these struggles effectively.
Step 1. The first step to handling this stuff is to educate yourself. When a little “struggle” happens to you, try recording it on a voice memo on your phone, or if you can’t do that then do your best to remember what was said and write it down.
Step 2. Find a way “through.” Once you’ve failed at being dominant, you now are aware of one way NOT to get things right. This is a prerequisite to getting things right, so instead of beating yourself up, brainstorm some other ways of handling her ploy for dominance, or simply login to your girlfriendfastlane.com account and I’ll tell you the answer on the forum. I’ll even show you visually how to handle the struggle in my weekly “office hours” live chat and you can see first-hand what you should have done.
Step 3. Once you know the proper way to handle that particular dominance struggle, you simply wait for it to happen again and you fight the battle when it happens. You DO NOT talk about fucking Fight Club, lol. In other words, you don’t tell the girl the theory behind what she’s doing. She won’t get it and you’ll just end up looking weird to her. Just let the next struggle happen and dominate when it happens. In this manner you are taking the lead in your relationship by ensuring it’s longevity through your preparedness and conscientious approach.
Congratulations, you’ve now got a legit shot at happiness…