I wanna tell you about someone who did an approach on my student and I while we were in a set last weekend.
So I’m coaching my latest client and a guy comes up and to our 5 set (me, student, 3 women) and just interrupts all of us saying “What’s up everybody?”
Then he stares at us all as if we’re supposed to be his best friend, and I’ll be honest with you… if I hadn’t immediately thought he was a pickup student I’d have ignored him entirely, or worse. Instead, I decided to pause and see what the group would do with the guy, and since everyone was warmed up and in a good laughing mood (because of me), they let him in.
Later I ended up somehow standing next to the guy and I asked him “So how’s the pickup going?” which is probably the least enjoyable question to get when you’re new at approaching people. Of course he’s like “Oh what do you mean?” and I explained to him that I know what he’s doing and I’m a coach so he can drop the obvious act.
So what is this whole thing about?
1. OPENING A GROUP OF 5 PEOPLE BY TRYING TO ADDRESS ALL OF THEM AT ONCE IS DUMB.
2. IF YOU’RE WANTING TO GET INTO A GROUP, OPEN ONE PERSON IN THE GROUP (GIRL OR GUY) AND INCLUDE WHOEVER DECIDED TO LOOK.
3. OPEN WITH IMPACT YOU IDIOT!!!
Let’s go through these one by one in a bit more detail:
First off let’s chat about opening groups with more than 3 people in them. When I first started approaching, I had heard that it’s a think to just open like 8 people by getting their attention all at once. Total horse shit. I tried this many many times, and in fact I did it while coaching often, and it always turned out poorly because people just don’t do this. Alpha males don’t do this.
Here’s what happened to me: I made a damned fool of myself.
The reality here is that it’s a MUCH better play to just position yourself on the side of the group, wait for an opening, then open someone on the edge of the group. If someone else starts listening to you then address them with your eyes and include them that way. Then when you’re accepted by those first couple people it’ll be much more likely that you’ll get accepted by the group.
That very same night I was coaching and that very thing happened to me. I chatted with 2 girls at the back of the drink like and they happened to be with two more who were adjacent to them. They joined, the girls let them know “he’s cool” and then all was good. They loved me.
Next up, opening with impact.
Sorry guys, “What’s up everybody” isn’t going to cut it. It’s low impact and assumes FAR too much that you’ll get compliance from the group you’re opening. The reality here is that if you’re not offering obvious value of some sort (like maybe you look super cool or you have a couple chicks with you), asking people what’s up and then not saying anything just pisses people off. You know what I thought? I’m like “So that’s it motherfucker?”
So open with some impact. Talk about a funny situation you just saw, give a compliment, do an opener that’s professionally scripted and has been proven to work well, etc.
DON’T BE AN IDIOT.
That’s all for today guys, thanks for reading.