So I just got back from a trip to Chicago this past weekend and I had the pleasure of being hosted by the Chicago lair on kind of a last minute basis. Thanks again to my contact there for making that happen (not sure if you’d want your name mentioned but you know who you are). The night there started by me meeting up with about 5 or 6 guys and talking a bit about who I am and what issues they might be facing, so today for the guys who might’ve missed it I wanted to write up a bit about what we talked about outside before many of the other guys showed up. I also ended up having possibly slightly more than a few beers with one of the guys late night who wrote a review about our time that i’ll include to start things out. Basically what happened is at this point it’s very difficult for me to be in a social situation and not talk to people, so he got a tiny show on Friday and we had some fun and some laughs hanging out late night. Thanks again to all the Chicago Lair guys for your hospitality and welcomeness. You’ve got a great group and I look forward to coming back soon and seeing you!
This is the email I received from the member of the lair who I hungout with Friday:
I wanted to thank you again for hangin’ friday. It was so much fun and I learned a shit ton from you. Hope the rest of your trip went well. I told the guys in the Lair about my night and they also echoed my sentiments.
Here is what I wrote to the guys. Feel free to use it as one of your student reviews or however you see fit.
Holy shit! Last night was amazing.. Thanks (name) for hookin us up with Jake.
I stayed out with Jake 1 on 1 until 4 am. HE CAME TO GIVE AND GIVE HE DID
I just want to preface by saying ..
What i saw yesterday was nothing short of god mode!
I saw Thor do pickup ..literally. EVery set he laid his eyes on just opened like moses parting the RED SEA.
And as far as learning fundamentals i had the privelage of watching push/pull, escalation, role play, body rocking, story telling etc from a fuckin pro… and he pointed out what he was doing.
Every move he made was super calculated right down to which girls to target.
At the end he was just glowing. A near glance and a girl had no choice but to say hi to us. Yeah i was cool just by association.
Inspired by what i saw i gave it a whirl. He would pull me into set and i could hold my own for a bit at least. When i would bitch out he would pull me back and give me critique right in the middle of set.
There were several times he could have pulled and left me. The blonde he made out with at the end was totally down but he stuck to his intent of giving value till the bitter end.
Again thanks (name) for hookin this shit up game changer!
Again Totally enjoyed your company and respect the hell out of your skills. Good Luck in all of your endeavors. Hit me up if you need anything in the future.
Thanks for the review! And, Man! I still can’t get over how different I perceive things these days then I do. Really? I’m Thor, the god of women and parter of the vaginal red seas??? LOL. My opinion of the night was honestly that I was just having a few beers fucking around. Maybe I can get my student from the night after to write a review about what he experienced and the demos that he saw so that I can post here in the next couple days. I thought Saturday night was much much better. We’ll see…
It’s funny, when I was coming up through the ranks years ago and was newer to coaching, Brad P and I were asked to come to Las Vegas with a LoveSystems workshop (we were affiliated with them at the time) and help teach a bit. I remember back around that time I had seen Cajun do the Keys to the VIP show, and that night him and I and his cousin (who was on the show with him) were all having too many beers at the circular bar at the Hard Rock. If I remember correctly I was running “poop game” on some girls, lol (don’t ask). Anyways, that Keys to the VIP show had a significant impact on me, and when I asked him about it he almost immediately wanted me to know that he’s capable of much much more than he showed that night, when I thought the whole thing was pretty spectacular. I felt the same way about Friday night, like it was just a piece of my skillset. So hopefully when I come back to Chicago I’ll have the opportunity to show more to you guys.
Another thing I wanted to address quickly is the issue of me being a total nobody when it comes to the dating community. A lot of the guys in Chicago had no clue who I was, and I knew that, so I was very impressed at the turnout for Friday night. It demonstrates that they’ve got a good thing going in Chicago. Respect. The reality is that when I worked for Brad for years, the goal wasn’t for either of us to be famous or well known or any of that. Quite the opposite actually. While LoveSystems was busy becoming the McDonald’s of picking up women, marketing in a big way, getting on TV, and soaking up money left and right by pushing opinion openers, we were comfortable staying out of the spotlight and traveling city to city talking giving lair talks and walking the walk. Our bread & butter was always impressing people with our live demos and over-delivering for our clients, and when word of mouth is your marketing, this is the way it has to be done.
Please note that i’m not trying to knock LoveSystems, they just have a far different business format. I’ve seen Brad hire exactly zero head coaches besides me in the past 7 years, and a grand total of about 5 assistant coaches. To me this approach keeps quality very high, and I have a great deal of respect for that approach. I’m also not driving a Bentley yet, so maybe that makes me the idiot, who knows.
Anyways, enough of all that shit. What’s important to me is that I offer the best quality information and training to my students and my blog readers. Sometimes that information is going to fly in the face of the traditional “correct” community information, kind of like the advice I gave to some of the more punctual guys in the Chicago lair outside of the bar we were at. So if you weren’t there, here’s what we talked about…
First off, the traditional method of meeting women and approaching is fucking outdated as shit. You know, the whole “leave your buddy to walk across an empty space from 15 feet away from a couple girls to come up to them and start talking” thing? Sure, it can be done, but that doesn’t mean it’s do be fucking done!!! For most guys learning dating, they’re not at the level yet where they absolutely need to get that one chick over there because her quality is so rare. Instead, if you’re reading here you’re probably just trying to get a few women to touch your weener every now and then. If that’s the case for you, there’s a better strategy.
But first lemme point something out here. The first step in getting a woman attracted to you is that she has to not know if she could get you or not. In other words, you can’t telegraph your interest to her prematurely because it blocks her mental attraction process of wondering if she could get you, investing more thought into you, getting more and more curious, and starting to obsess over thinking about you. Got it? So we need a method of meeting women where we can do approaches, and we can do them in a way that doesn’t telegraph interest. Approaching from 20 feet away telegraphs a ton of interest, so it’s a much tougher battle to fight.
So since in Chicago (like many other places) the bars are often more cramped, I like to recommend to guys to grab a buddy and stand right in the part of the bar where the people are the thickest. You know, the place where you can’t move and where you’re surrounded by people elbowing you and spilling shit on you. This is the place to be because you’ll have the highest number of interactions in these types of places, and since you’re already super close to the women and almost forced to interact, your “approach” (the part where you start talking) telegraphs almost no interest at all.
One of my favorite things to say to women in packed bars when one of them bumps into me and says “excuse me” is “never again!” I look at them semi-seriously when I say it, then my seriousness turns into kind of a mock-angry expression and they understand that I’m fucking with them. This is a killer way to open women in my opinion because in this one second “ping” opener I can make a snap judgement about her state and whether or not she’s initially into me. And even if she’s in a bad state or she’s not into me and she simply walks away, she’s still going to stand nearby and watch me talk to other women. Often this does all my attraction work for me, so that the next time we pass each other, my work will be much easier. Maybe she’ll open me or when I say “you again, ugh” it’ll be enough to spur her into asking for my name.
Got that? I stood and drank a beer, said two words with an expressive face, and she’s into me. Multiply this by 20 interactions in the same room, and “god mode” happens, where basically I just do that a bunch, and before you know i’m talking with a group of women and one of the women from earlier (who often has been watching from afar) “bumps” into me again, and now i’m in a situation where i’ve got two groups of women i’m talking to. This is how often i’m in a bar and i’ve got three or more groups of women vying for my attention, making me magically look like a game ninja. At that point i’m super in-state and when a women looks at me I can just say “hi” or “well hello there” and she’s already attracted. This is how you can maximize your result with minimum effort, and it looks far different to people then when you’re the guy who approached from 20 feet away.
Are you with a buddy? Then face each other in the busy section of the bar and use your eyes (don’t turn your head!) to scope out women as you laugh, joke, and have a good time. Turn while still facing each other so that you can together scope the room out. Others will perceive you to have a small awareness radius, keeping your value as high as possible and forcing interested women to put themselves in proximity to you (Read more on this in my post “She’s not even in the fucking room!”. When you see a woman from far away check you out and 5 minutes later she has positioned herself and her group next to you, you can be very certain she’s already into you.
Another issue Chicago guys are facing is that there are many bars with high noise levels and lots of click-y groups sitting down at tables. When the noise level goes up, you have to drastically shorten the amount of words you say when you open, and those words need to have much greater impact in order for you to maintain her attention past the first few seconds of your interaction. The method i’ve outlined above accomplishes both of these tasks. Oh, and why even go to a bar where everyone’s sitting down when you’ve got a zillion bars in Chicago where everyone’s standing around tightly packed together? I would save these spots for social circle gaming with a group of guys and girls.