Written by 10:43 pm DATING Views: 4

Racing towards 2013: Relationship and Comfort Acceleration

Normally….  I would NEVER tell you to engage in behaviors such as meeting parents, spending entire weekends with girls, spending 3 days in a row with them, taking vacations, and doing other couple-type activities until you’re ready to be shacked up with a girl, but for those of you who maybe aren’t the best at wrangling a girl in (like you can’t really get a single night lay and usually it takes you a few dates to close the girl), using what I call relationship accelerators might help you to establish something quickly before new years or in times where you need a date for whatever reason.  So with New Years Eve just around the corner, what can we do to get women latched onto us in short order?

The first thing I like to do when I want to establish lots of comfort in short order with a girl is to talk to her exactly like I do with close friends.  I do this immediately upon meeting her, and I don’t sensor anything I say simply because she’s a new person to me.  So for starters, try and be as comfortable and vulnerable as possible with saying whatever you want to her.   If you’re a bit more advanced you can even practice saying things to women you just met that you normally wouldn’t, things that you might feel could get you in trouble or cause you to have to defend yourself or maintain frame.  If you’re advanced, then you should not only say whatever you want, but you should be the one challenging others.  For those of you who’ve done Social Freedom Exercises, you’ve already started practicing this by telling a stranger a deep, dark secret.  In reality this concept is far easier than you think!  Women always follow the leader, so take the lead with a calm comfortable open vibe and she’ll catch up very quick.  

When I take the girl out for the first time, I like to have her come to my place so that I can be “not quite ready yet” and have her come inside while I finish up getting ready.  I might be throwing on my jacket and boots or checking myself out in the mirror.  This is a great opportunity to further comfort with the girl.  When couples have been together for a long time, they get ready for nights out together and they often ask each other how they look or how something looks, so I like to do the same with a girl i’ve just met.  I might look in the mirror and ask her how something looks, how I look, or I might even ask her if i’ve got anything in my teeth.  This shows a huge amount of comfort with yourself and with her and is a great opportunity to show confidence as well.  Repeat after me:  “Dammmn I look sexy!”  In addition, now she’s been in your room for the first time, so she doesn’t have to wonder what it’ll be like or feel awkward about coming back later in the evening.  

When we head out for a date and i’m trying to accelerate comfort, i’ll often try and make the date as close to bf/gf type activities as possible and try to hangout for a longer period of time if possible.  For instance, let’s say last night you closed a D2 with a girl who you met in the daytime and she had suggested that for our time together we should hit a bar for a drink at like 10:30pm.  Not a terrible plan, but how would that go?  Well, i’d go to the bar alone, maybe wait around for her to get there, then if we left we would have to take separate cars to whatever place I would try to have sex with her.  To me this is a logistically janky plan.  It’s just clumsy.  Why?  Because there are a million places for major state breaks for the girl (times when she might feel emotionally different because of the simple act of changing her physical position to maybe a car, perhaps).  State breaks give a girl time for logical thought, and logical thought often leads to not wanting to be a slut, etc.  and usually not to sex.  Even if these state breaks don’t occur, our paths throughout the night still don’t feel very bf/gf, so I want to stay away from this.  

Instead of agreeing to this date of meeting for a couple drinks with a bunch of strangers around in a busy bar, I would want to just go get some food with this chick and head back to my place and have sex if I were you.  So I would suggest that we head out for food and a movie, but I don’t want to say “lets grab takeout and head to my place” cause I think it’s a bit too forward.  Instead, you should make it generic so there is some plausible deniability if the girl had an objection to the plan.  Your text should be something like:

“I’m in a pretty chill mood, let’s just grab some sushi and watch a flick or something.”

Notice how this could mean we eat at the sushi place or get takeout, and a flick could mean watching a movie at a theatre or it could also mean Netflix at my place.  In this case, she picked me up at my place but couldn’t find parking so she waited outside for me, we headed out and ate sushi at a place she suggested, and at dinner she told me that she had had a DUI some time ago and didn’t want to drive after drinking.  She did want to drink though, so I knew we couldn’t hit my place cause we had already taken her car.  We briefly discussed this and she offered up that we just grab some wine and head to her place.  

Obviously when a girl says “lets grab a bottle of wine and head to my place” we all know what that means, but upon debriefing her after we had sex, she told me that she had called friends and told them that she was about to fuck me before we even went out.  I pretty much knew it would happen, but my experience in pickup still tells me that there are a lot of times when something might cause it not to.  In this case, pretty much right after I got in her car and started talking I knew it was on.  

Just so it’s glaringly clear, my objective at any point in a date is simply to take the next small step towards the end goal of having sex.  Take too big a step or a giant leap and your chances at sealing the deal greatly diminish.  I start the date already shooting for my end goal of getting the girl back to my place, and I do this by simply planning that we’ll end up at my house.  

The process of gaining compliance on a date is this:  when it’s the time in the night to head back to my place, I ask the girl for the next compliance step (for instance “So let’s head to my place and hang a bit”).  If she’s down with that then great, and if she’s got an objection to that then try and handle whatever problem she’s got or ask for the next lower compliance step as best as I can figure out what it might be.  For instance if she won’t come over to my place and she’s like “I have to wake up early,” I might tell her something like “Well it’s not like we’re going to hang out all night or something.  Don’t get any ideas.  I just thought we’d hangout for a few minutes.”  Normally this will handle the objection, but if it doesn’t and she says something like “No, i’ve really gotta be home,” I’ll quickly think of what my next best option is and present that.  Like if I want to get her out of the venue I might offer to walk her to her car with the intention of taking the long way there and trying to close in an alley or something, or if I want to keep her in the venue for another drink I might say “Okay cool, let’s have one more and then head out.”  If this was the case, I would know that it’s possible i’m not doing the best job with her or that she really does have to be up and does want to see me again.  If it’s the first case then the next drink will buy me some time for more game, and if it’s the second case the drink might loosen her up enough to make worse decisions (well, better for us) afterwards.  I handle all compliance steps basically in that general order:  Ask for compliance, if I get it then great, if I don’t then I adjust and take the next lower compliance step.  

So lets say that the date ends and you don’t get her in the sack.  If you still want to close this before or on New Years Eve, it’s a great idea to schedule a hangout the next day or as soon as possible, and hopefully you’ll have talked about this during the date just in case you need this option.  Again, when closing in short order, we don’t have “moves” in our toolbox like dead-airing a text or waiting 3 days to call her again, so we need to establish as much comfort as we can during the time we have with the girl, then we try to hangout again as soon as possible afterwards.  In other words, burn it to the ground!  Blow me or blow me out.  Get the chick in and hanging out a ton or get her out immediately and move on to the next opportunity.  The worst case scenario is getting a girl into you just enough to waste your fucking time.  

In addition to establishing heavy comfort during your date, there are other relationship accelerators that you should have in your pickup toolbox for times when you want the relationship to go to the next level.  Why would you want the relationship to accelerate?  Well there are a million different reasons to want a relationship to go further, and the best I can describe it is using a lifestyle perspective.  Brad and I both recognize and often talk about times in life when it’s simply more advantageous, convenient or desirable to have a monogamous girlfriend.  If this is the case for you, feel free to start hanging out with your girl more than once a week, start texting more, spend a whole weekend with her, cook with her, stay the night at each others places more, go on vacation with her, meet her family, grow closer to her friends, etc.  Remember that these are precisely the things we want to AVOID when we want to be in MLTR situations because they result in more emotional attachment and further investment from the woman.  

So…. summing this whole thing up, let’s apply this stuff to a gameplan for the next couple days.  If you’ve got no chicks right now and you wanna get laid by or on New Years Eve, you should be heading out tonight and definitely sunday night too, cause any night where it’s obvious that no one will be out makes it also obvious that any chick who IS out is definitely on the prowl.  In fact, if a girl is out at all sunday night there’s a solid chance she could be looking for a new years eve date!  And we all know that really there’s no more obvious time all year long to kiss a chick then when the ball drops at midnight.  So hit night game up tonight with the intention of getting a SNL, or a date tomorrow or new years eve with a girl you meet.  Spend as much time with her as you can until new years eve, and with any luck you’ll be kissing cinderella on New Years Eve and not some nasty linebacker 🙂  Happy New Years!

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