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Christmas Cheer & Relationship Decelerators

Tis the season for not wanting to be alone.  Just last night a girl i’m dating called me her boyfriend out of nowhere, then later called herself my girlfriend, then at the end of the night apologized, saying that she’s not used to being single around the holiday season.  Her single friend was also over, and quickly the conversation turned to if I had any hot single friends that wanted to hangout over New Year’s Eve.  Over and over and over again every holiday season (especially Christmas time) it’s glares obvious to me that women HATE being single throughout the holiday season!  So, the natural question is what can a strapping young single lad do to take advantage of this situation and score some puss?   And if you’re in a situation right now where you don’t have plans for New Years Eve and you want to get laid, what should you do?

For starters, and this should come as no surprise to you, today is Friday, December 28th, so get your ass out tonight and tomorrow and get to sarging.  What’s your strategy?  I’ll tell you in a second.  But first!!!…

I wanna talk briefly about actions we can use to decelerate the progression of the relationship.  These are what I call relationship decelerators.  Now normally in we always want to decelerate the relationship’s progression because we want to be stereotyped as a seducer-type and sleep with the girl for awhile before deciding if we want a girl as our girlfriend.  When done correctly, DTR’s (define the relationship talks) won’t happen much, and a girl won’t really push for monogamy until somwhere between 4 and 6 months into knowing one another.  A true pro can push things to over a year (and easily deal with any issues created in the process).  To accomplish this, a man does things like only see the girl once a week, say things like “Whoa, we’re not there yet,” or “Whoa, we’ve only hungout like X number of times!” etc.  The idea is to keep the girl from going into girlfriend mode with us for as long as possible.  

The problem in doing this is that many guys’ actions don’t match up with their words, causing serious drama in their relationships.  For instance, many guys will outright tell a girl “I don’t want a girlfriend” so that in their own logical mind they aren’t obligated to have a relationship with her.  To them this means that they can just fuck the girl forever and ever with no consequences and no strings.  They end up getting lazy, not meeting new chicks, and fucking that same girl 3+ times a week thinking everything is cool and thinking that the girl is cool with this.  They even do shit like cook together, meet her parents, etc.. Meanwhile (and quite naturally I would add), the woman is inevitably growing more and more attached and invested into a man she sees as attainable.  She’s thinking thoughts about how she can wrangle you in and what it might be like to be with you forever, and when one day her girlfriend/co-worker/parent/whoever asks her “Is he your boyfriend” or “do you have a boyfriend,” she’s likely to reason “Well, he says he doesn’t want a relationship, but we are hanging out and banging 4 times a week.”  She’s also going to feel pressure from her friends and family to “shit or get off the pot” with you, because they all want to see her live happily ever after in a supposed-to-last-forever-but-probably-won’t marriage.  That’s just the way it is.  

If you’re the guy in this situation, guess what!?!?  YOU’VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND, DUDE!  In addition, I think you’re a dick for leading this girl on.  And no, it’s not her fault for getting invested and emotionally attached even though you told her you didn’t want a relationship.  Getting invested and emotionally attached is a natural thing women do.  The truth of the situation is that your actions lead the girl on and you’re too immature and lazy to know or care otherwise.  So… if you’re already in this situation and would now like to change it, the best thing to do is simply to start hanging out way less so the girl gets the idea, and in the future try to match your actions with your intentions.  Easy excuses for hanging out less include “I’m heading back home (or on a trip) for a couple weeks,” “I’ve got a big job/overtime at work coming up,” or really anything that requires that you won’t be able to hangout.  This will make it easier on you to actually make this happen so you can move on with your life and start meeting some new women.  

Another quick modification to your game if you’re the dude above.  Don’t outright tell women you don’t want a relationship with them.  Remember, we use confusion game.  This means she shouldn’t really know what you’re up to.   It’s like poker.  In the end she might find out what happened, but until then you’ve got all the cards in your hand and you’re not showing anyone.  So instead of telling the girl you don’t want a relationship, let her learn through your actions that you’re not ready for one yet with her.  This will both maintain her interest level in you and allow you some time to truly understand what she offers you in Sexual value, social value, and lifestyle value so that you can more accurately gauge whether or not you would like something more with her.  In essence, you’re giving her “a shot” at getting you…. and my my my do I like the sound of that!

Okay.  Moving on… 

 So you’re a new man now.  You’re going to match your actions with your words, be less misleading to women, and you still wanna get laid and have some companionship for New Years Eve.  

The first lesson for your game I want to implement is along the same lines as decelerating a relationship, but this time instead of decelerating your relationship by saying something like 8 girlfriends routine or the lines above, I want you to decelerate your escalation  towards sex verbally while you aggressively escalate towards sex physically.  How does this look?  Well I might say something to a girl like “Well listen, I know you’re totally in love with me, but you gotta hold off with that, I just met you,” and when I say this I might simultaneously start rubbing her leg.

Later on I might say “Don’t start getting any ideas like you’re going home with me.  I don’t know you that well yet…” while I move in for a makeout.  Got it?!?  We ESCALATE physically while DE-ESCALATING with our words.  This confuses the girl enough to bypass her normal circuits that tell her a guy is obviously trying to sleep with her.  It also pre-emptively strikes any attack she might throw like “We shouldn’t do this!”  or something along those lines (“You’re right we totally shouldn’t” + escalate physically).  Instead, she’s left with “Hmmm, I like this.  Where will it go?  How far will he let me go, and when?”  This is both the position of power we want to be in and also the mental land we want her in while she’s being escalated, because it’s exciting to a woman to think about and wonder what will happen.  AND!  When things escalate and you have sex with her, she can backwards rationalize that you both didn’t plan on things, “It just happened.”  

So hopefully now you’ve got a decent understanding of some relationship decelerators and some verbal de-escalation techniques.  In tomorrow’s blog post i’m going to talk about relationship accelerators and how they can be useful in putting together a close when you don’t SNL and you don’t have many days to make it happen.  Think it’s a terrible idea to meet a girl’s parents and hang out with her everyday?  You might be wrong….  

To be Continued….

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