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The Dominance Struggle (2/2) “In-depth” Theory

That old adage you’ve heard “hot girls don’t get hit on much because guys are all scared to hit on them, so if you hit on them you’ll probably stand a good chance” is total bullshit.  Hot girls get hit on all the fucking time, and have been getting hit on since their nipples first grew into golf balls when they were twelve.  How many times is this?  Well it’s probably a few times a day minimum, maybe a thousand a year conservatively… so if she’s 21 then she’s already got 5000 “approaches” under her belt, and if she’s  40 then that number is more like 20 to 25 thousand, and that’s a conservative number!  Do you have even 5000 approaches yet?  And if she’s got even 10,000 approaches under belt and she’s only slept with 10 or 20 guys, then that means only one out of every 500 approaches leads to someone fucking her.  Wow!  So I ask you this:  How does a hot girl keep from getting fucked every night she goes out?

The answer is that from a very early age, girls learn and develop a skillset based on screening out unacceptable men.  And since women often have abundance like this naturally this skillset isn’t really a choice, men just approach and the woman’s only option is to learn how to quickly and effectively get a man who isn’t acceptable for mating to go away.  This really isn’t an easy task for women, because if they don’t effectively make the man feel like he’s not good enough for her, then the man will often just relentlessly keep hitting on the girl.  How annoying for her!  Even worse, if a potential mate IS around, then she could mess up her social status (and chances of getting him) just because the other annoying dude won’t go away.  So how can she quickly and concisely get a lower value guy to go away while also making him feel like he wasn’t good enough for her so that he doesn’t persist? 

So here we go.  

The skill women have to learn to be good at effectively screening out men is how to dominate them.  This concept is both incredibly simple and incredibly complex.  We all know that the dominance can come in many forms, such as physical dominance, mental dominance, social dominance, etc. and since women are seldom physically dominant by nature, they almost 100% of the time will try to dominate men using other forms of dominance than the physical.  In other words, they will use social and mental dominance to screen out men.  Got it?  When you approach women they will attempt to screen you out using social and mental dominance techniques.  When you are engaged in the process of a girl trying to screen you out using social and mental dominance techniques, you are engaged in what I call a dominance struggle.  If you come out  on top in the dominant position and essentially “win,” the woman will be attracted.  If you come out on the bottom and lose… well we all know how that ends… with masturbation.  

“So okay Jake, she’ll try to socially and mentally dominate me, but what exactly will she do?”  

I’m going to map this out for you right now in theory, then i’m going to give you an example of a SIMPLE dominance struggle women use called the “Are you Gay?” shit test.    

To me the dominance struggle is a thing of beauty.  Over the course of years and years of training and thousands and thousands of approach receptions, beautiful women all over the world have all ended up using the exact same technique to dominate men, and they will predictably use this technique over and over and over again when a man approaches them with a sexual invitation.  Women use this technique so much that they’re masters at it, so it’s our duty to also become masters at it if we want to be successful with women.  In other words, we need to be able to beat them at their own game.  It’s the game they’ve chosen as the best one to use for screening, so it’s now our home turf as well.  To me, how a man performs during dominance struggles is the essence of how effective his game will be.  

So let’s label exactly what’s happening in a dominance struggle right here and right now.  

First and foremost.  The man approaches, and the woman receives the energy of the man’s approach. 

Second.  The woman exudes a neutral, reserved energy.  This means simply that she listens to the man, observes him, feels his energy, and doesn’t offer up much to the man in return.  This is a wonderful way to establish a dominant social and mental position, because it doesn’t give the man any information about the woman.  

Third.  This gathering of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic cues from the man while maintaining a neutral reserved energy produces fruit.  The “fruit” that’s produced is information about the man.  The woman has listened to the man so she knows about his voice tone and what it communicates.  She has seen him and taken in visual cues like his body language and movements and she knows what they communicate.  And finally, she has felt his touch (or lack thereof) and she feels what his touch communicates.  

Fourth.  In each moment of conversation the woman compares all of the information she is receiving with her past experience, noting anything that’s “off” or out of place with the man.    

Fifth.  When she finds something off about the man, now it’s time to test him and see if it’s true, or see if   the simple test itself will be enough to shake the man up and cause him to show further inadequacies of character or confidence.  To test the man, she will mirror the energy of her test with the perceived energy of the man’s approach.  Saying this another way,  if the man’s energy is crass and uncalibrated, the women will mirror his energy with what the community understands as a traditional “shit test.”  A more skilled approach from a man warrants a more skilled, subtle test from the woman.   

**Note:  On this topic I disagree with the traditional community viewpoint that a shit test (a harsh crass obvious test in the traditional community sense) is a good thing because it means the women views you as a potential suitor.  Instead, I believe a shit test from a woman is often just her attempt at mirroring the crass nature of your approach.  She’s not taking you seriously, and in fact she’s just trying to show you obvious disapproval in an effort to make you go away very quickly with your tail in-between your legs.  A shit test certainly does not demonstrate that she’s taking you seriously.  I find that when a women takes a man seriously, she’ll put a lot more thought into her testing and come up with something far more subtle and difficult to deal with.**

A solid test from a woman engaged in a more serious struggle for dominance will often come in the form of the woman asking a neutral question about a piece of information she has observed.  This question often will carry the heavy weight of a sub-communicated frame.  In other words, her question will imply something about the man or she will be framing him as possibly having some characteristic, and she’ll ask her question in a neutral way such that she cannot be socially faulted of punished for her observation, after all, she was “just asking a question.”  She wasn’t accusing.  And since the question she asks is rooted in reality, to the man the question carries heavy weight.  

The most advanced version of this often comes when a woman questions the man in such a way that to win the dominance struggle, he must take a look at the last thing he just said and try to discern on his own what the women thought was “off” so that he can demonstrate his social perception by labeling what she’s thinking in that moment.  She might even test the man by simply using a facial expression, or “look.”  The most advanced tests communicate the most information and meaning using the fewest number of words.  

Sixth.  The man decides his own fait by responding either wittingly, displaying his bold confidence, un-reactivity, and unaffectedness to the test, or unwittingly, displaying the true depth and capacity of his character and confidence in a negative way (In other words, his lack of confidence or character or how easily shakeable he is).  

Seventh.  The triumphant man has attracted the woman and continues the seduction process, and the defeated man feels submissive and dominated and chooses to walk away (or says something to the effect of “Fuck you you fucking cunt”).  

Is all this as clear as mud?  Don’t worry, it’ll get easier and i’m going to explain a simple basic test in just a second.  

But first… 

Just as men have varying levels of social skill, so do women.  As such, only the hottest of women will have the most experienced and calibrated forms of testing.  The confident, wanted woman has the ability to be completely variable in her approach to testing men.  She can test from many different angles using techniques she has learned and modeled from many many women.  She has the capacity to observe a man’s energy and use her social skillset to dissect his character with swiftness and accuracy.  When you meet a woman like this, rest assured that the information she “gives” you can be very accurate and hence very useful as constructive criticism.  

A woman with an intermediate skill level can still be good at testing and observing energy, but her skills may not be keenly accurate all the time.  She may also get a bit lazy and learn or use only three or four more general tests in total, and those tests might not be rooted in observation.  Instead, she might just throw them out at random to any guy she meets because she has seen or heard others use a similar method in the past.  When you meet a girl like this, it can be tough to discern whether or not her information is actually useful to your development.  This is where is starts to really help to not beat yourself up about an individual test and instead compile data over time through numbers of approaches in an effort to see patterns emerge that will be a more accurate depiction of what personality characteristics or skillset elements need change or improvement.  

Women with low-level skillsets can be all over the place.  Some women won’t even test at all because they want to include men instead of excluding them!  Other low level performers include women who are quiet (without much response from them men think they’re doing poorly and often give up, so these women tend to include more than exclude), ugly chicks, fat chicks, foreign chicks who don’t speak the language and aren’t hot, etc.  You get the idea.  These are women without many options, so they don’t have a need so screen, much less develop a skillset for it.  

So… now that we understand the basic premises of testing, let’s use our knowledge to attack the ever-feared “Are you Gay” shit test.  

You approach a girl and after some chatting she blurts out “Are you gay?”  What does this mean?

Quite simply, this means that the girl has observed some detail (small or large) about your persona that could possibly indicate that you’re a member of the ever-popular Bukkake Boys.  But you’re not gay, so why would she say this?  She says it because:

1.  She has observed something about you that could possibly be construed or framed as being gay

2.  She knows that if she frames you as gay using a neutral question, she’ll be without social blame and you’ll be forced to show your true character, thereby screening you in our out in an efficient manner.

So what’s the solution?  

Well, the solution is to first wait till this happens like 10 times before you start to believe it’s an issue.  This will weed out the possibility that this could simply be a lazy, normal test from an intermediate or low skill-leveled woman.  Then once you’ve seen it like 10 times and it’s a little more believable, it’s time to try and isolate what you’re doing that triggered the possible gay vibe that you gave the woman.  You could even simply ask her back neutrally “Oh, what gave you the idea that I was gay?”  and you might be lucky enough that she’d just tell you and you could fix that thing.  It’s also possible that you could have a bit deeper conversational issue, like rewarding her negative energy with positivity all of the time instead of mirroring her energy with a similarly negative energy.  I’ve seen this many times, and it’s construed as gay because gay men commonly act in this manner towards women.  

It’s worth noting that many times we as pickup students want to be lazy, and instead of killing the root of the problem as i’ve described above we tend to want a quick fix to the solution.  So if you’re a guy who read the above test and felt unsatisfied, like that you wanted me to say “just say this and you’ll get through it,” then beware!  With little effort comes little reward.  

Now that we’ve talked about the gay shit test my sincere hope is that it doesn’t cheapen the gravity of the theory before it.  I cannot stress enough the gravity and importance of this post!  

A couple of other miscellaneous notes on dominance struggles and testing…

Women will fool you!  The most common technique I see used to fool a man into thinking a woman is higher value than she really is is the combination of a good presence and an unwillingness to talk.  This is what you’re used to calling a bitch, and what I refer to as a “reserved” energy.  When a woman doesn’t talk, she’s simply still in the process of sizing you up and figuring you out.  Let her be there and keep talking.  Soon enough she’ll make her assessment and the game between you will continue to the next stage.

Also, remember that just because a woman has a high level skillset doesn’t mean that she will choose a man who beats her at her own game!  She will often choose a man who is elite, but he can be elite in any of many areas and isn’t necessarily required to be dominant socially for her to mate with or even spend a lifetime with (i.e. get married).  He could be a high-level provider, for example.  However, it’s my contention that for a woman to be truly emotionally fulfilled by a man, he should have the ability to socially and mentally dominate her or at least be at her level so that they can maintain continued interest in each other and experience growth together.  

Well I hope that this blog post has been eye-opening for you and I hope that i’ve been able to explain it in terms that are understandable for all skill levels.  Feel free to comment below on anything that’s confusing or tough to understand.  I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights.  I look forward to possibly getting some audio of me in dominance struggles and posting more in the future about techniques I use to dominate during a struggle i’m in.  

Oh!!!   And by the way…  A successful man doesn’t wait for a woman to test him, he instead incites the dominance struggle by testing her!  So I want you to reread this post, this time reading as if you’re the one doing the testing of her.  Picture yourself in a set.  How would you start to test her?  What would you say?  What would your energy be like?  An elite man is challenging to women and an abundant man can screen women for personality characteristics using this exact same method.  I use it in my sarging everyday.   Ready… go!

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