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What to do when a girl texts you “Who is this?”

I’ve been getting a number of guys asking what they should do when they text a girl and get the response “who is this?”

The reason this is often difficult to figure out is because often questions and action come before actual thought. Guys often don’t take the time to discern what the context of this question is, so they can’t make a rational decision about what it means and what to do. Instead of blindly typing in a response that you’ve read online somewhere or gotten from asking a friend, I suggest stopping and really thinking about the context before texting or making any adjustments.

It could be the case that:

1. The girl does have your name in her phone and doesn’t remember your interaction

2. That she doesn’t have your name in her phone and doesn’t remember your interaction

3. That she changed phones and lost your number (not likely when communicating soon after you meet her)

4. That she deleted your name and number after some time period without hearing from you or some negative event that happened

5. She lost your number for some other random reason, like deleted it on accident or something.

I talked with Brad about this and it seems neither of us get the “who is this” text much because of two reasons:

1. We already know that every girl who’s number we get programs it in right there on the spot. Usually she’s eager to do this. At worst, i’ll get the girl’s number and text her “Jake” or “Jake is soo hot” or something like that, so that when I text again she can see my name pop up from the last text.

2. Our re-initiation of communication after the initial interaction is soon enough, and our interactions are compelling enough that the girl remembers us later on and is eager about communicating.

In the case that you have communicated already with the girl over a period of time and then there was a larger gap in time between communication for some reason, it’s often the case that the girl just deleted your number. If this is the case, you’ve got some work to do if you want to regame this girl. You could just text her again out of nowhere, or if you’re her friend on Facebook you might use that as a compliance test before you start texting her again. This way if “who is this” happens after a couple back and forth’s on Facebook then you could be confident that a simple text back with your name or a quick quip would be effective.

In the past two months when i’ve gotten “who is this” I have responded with “Wrong answer” and it’s been very effective for me. The reason i’ve been using wrong answer was a feel thing for me. When I sat down and thought about why it feels right and has been working, I think it’s because my style of game lately has been that i’ll meet a girl and just never text or call her for like a few weeks, so when I get “who is this” it’s often because maybe she just deleted my number, or she already forgot about our interaction. Either way, I cannot interpret “who is this” as a positive thing, so when I’m met with a negative energy I like to use hard game and go more negative to mirror effectively. A better solution for me would be to just text or call the girl earlier and more often I guess.

So final conclusion. Try to understand WHY the girl you’re texting with would text you “who is this.” When you think you’ve got a handle on it then choose your course of action. Often in pickup WE’RE FUCKING LAZY and would rather ask a question, have it answered, and mindlessly type in the response that will supposedly get us laid. This is a TERRIBLE habit to get into. 
Yes, coaches can accelerate your results by giving you answers, but then the process becomes “I don’t know, I should ask” right away and the student doesn’t learn to think for himself! A better habit would be to constantly be trying to understand the way that the girl is thinking and feeling so that we can better adjust and communicate. When you’ve gone through this thought process and you can’t quite understand what’s going on or the right course of action, that’s the time to ask for help and clarification.

Remember the process of learning dating is about learning a successful mindset, and internalizing successful behavioral and communicative skills. If you want to be the best you can be, strive to actually understand what you’re doing before you do it, that way when a new situation arises, your experience will produce an intuition that you can rely on.

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