So you’re starting to learn some dating skills and you start going out and at some point in time you ask a girl for her number, to which she replies “Well let’s be Facebook friends, let me give you my name.” You’re like “SCORE! Just Facebook-closed a hottie, YES!!! I’m gonna fuck her in no time!” You’re an excited guy about this seeming success, but how does it go after that?
Well ideally you’d message or chat the girl, then get her real number and talk over the phone, arrange a meetup, then go out and eventually have sex. The problem with this is that even though it sounds promising to facebook close a girl, the reality is that it’s going to be much more difficult for you than you might think. Let’s look at this situation more closely and examine what’s REALLY happening.
The first thing to be a bit wary about when you ask for a girl’s number and get the “Facebook me” response is WHY a girl would do this. Ask yourself “If we’re talking already and i’ve done a good job picking up, then shouldn’t she want to talk again? Then why when I ask to talk to her again would she want to change our medium of communication to one where we’re not talking?”
The overwhelming reason why girls let guys Facebook-close them is because it’s an easy way of letting guys down who they’re not really attracted to. The girl doesn’t want to be mean about letting the guy down, and she knows that if she “friends” the guy that he’ll often take it as a good thing and go away after that or turn into an orbiter, so the decision to exchange Facebook info is a pretty smart decision for her. The payoff is that the girl is creating an additional degree of seperation between herself and the guy or gaining another orbiter.
Yes, the guy still has a small chance to make it work, but it’s certainly not looking good for him at this point. We already know that the girl’s not super into him, so first he’d have to change that via mail or chat. After that he’d have to get her number and talk with her, then get her to meet out. The problem is that at the point she’s giving out facebook info she already is denying that she even wants to talk on the phone. More than likely what will happen is that he’ll friend her, checkout her pictures, try to message her, and will get ignored.
When i’m in a situation like this where the girl’s not quite attracted enough to give me digits, I like to quickly up the attraction a bit by running another attraction routine or talking a bit more then ask for the number again. I also need to be realistic and understand that this girl might just not be super into me for whatever reason, so I shouldn’t waste too much time trying to stick around and create attraction either. A terrible result would be to try for another 20 minutes and have the girl not really blow me out but not care if I stand there and try really hard, because then i’ve just wasted my own time and made myself feel stupid.
My favorite thing to do when I ask a girl for her number and she suggests “Oh, why don’t you just facebook me” is to say the following:
Oh you wanna be my facebook friend? You’re right I don’t think we’re quite ready yet for the phone either. Okay what’s your name? (wait for her to say it and then interrupt her with the following): Actually you know what, Facebook is a little forward for me. I tell you what, you know what we should do? We should be pen pals. Did you ever have a penpal in like Africa when you were like 8? Lets do that! Actually no, really that’s feeling like too much for me too. Okay okay, I got it! Here’s what i’m going to do. I’m gonna go onto… Craigslist… and i’m gonna make a post in the next few days in the “Missed Connections” section. I’m gonna write “Hey, met you in X place doing X thing (use the details of where the place you’re both at) and I realize you really liked me a lot and I didn’t give you a chance. Hoping to connect with you soon.” Then, if you happen to be on craigslist going through the missed connections section, then you can maybe respond to my add and we can work from there. Who knows, maybe we could message awhile, then start talking on the phone, then MAYBE someday we could like have a conversation on the phone. C’mon, just gimme your number girl.
Got it? Basically you’re showing the girl in a playful way that you understand what she’s doing, then you’re switching it around on her so that you’re the one creating degrees of seperation with her that she’s got to overcome. This confronts the girl with the fact that what she’s doing is really obviously kinda stupid and lets her know that you’re not a social retard. This, combined with the end where you’re like “gimme a break with that crap, just give me your number” will often be enough to get her attention and get her number. If not, you’re done wasting your time with the girl and you can move on to the next.
Now having said all this, there is one situation where a facebook close might be the way to go. This would be when the girl is in the venue with her boyfriend and you’re both time-pressed because he’s coming back soon from the bathroom or something. In this situation where she really CAN’T have you calling/texting, it might be better for you to arrange meetups, etc. over facebook until her situation with the boyfriend changes.
And by the way, Facebook closes aren’t all bad, if the girl gives you her number first and then when you’re texting she asks for your Facebook info or last name. This falls into the category of normal behavior where she just wants to check you and your life out. I always allow a girl to friend me when it happens along with her giving me her phone number.
So there you have it. Girls are responding to guys in smart ways that fulfill their needs and often not yours, so take the smart road and be prepared for this situation and you might come out on top (of her hopefully) next time instead of ending up with one more “hot chick” you facebook closed. Unless of course you enjoy smacking it to her photos 🙂